I met a girl the other day, and I think it’s safe to say she doesn’t care one wit what my Facebook Timeline has to say regarding my living area.
To be certain, I gathered up the sum of my testicular fortitude and straight up sent her a screenshot of the FB notification with a big red question mark. Her reply: “I have no idea what that is haha” (original reply: “אין לי מושג מה זה חחח”).
Little backstory to this conundrum: I was at an open stage night where (pseudonym) Bella was performing. We spoke briefly after the show, and the following day I felt so compelled to laud her performance that I sent her a message via messenger.
Her first reply was to add me as a friend – legit, why not? All performers are brothers of a feather after all. Shortly after I accepted, Facebook notified me that “Bella said you live in the Ramat Gan area. To add this to your timeline, go to Timeline Review” (image at top of article).
My first reaction was “why would she give half a rat’s a—” and before that thought came to fruition, I thought “is Facebook really that eager for me to have a filled out and updated profile?”
Frankly, I’m no investigative journalist and to me this was just an elbow-jabbing ah Facebook, you dog, trying to squeeze verifiable information out of me for whatever avarice ruse your henchmen are brewing.
But hey, maybe someone out there will connect some wild dots and prove we’re all living in a matrix, we have no friends on Facebook, and they’re just creating this whole social network thing because it’s a cool coding project.
So far, Facebook has not made any official comment regarding this bizarre occurrence. Possibly because I haven’t reached out to them and have no idea how I would go about that anyway. Also, I live in Tel Aviv.